018 - Modesty, Shame & Purity Culture

Greetings, Bettys and Jacks. This is NOT a light and fluffy episode; it’s more like Utah Culture 101. Mary and Alexis talk about some issues we have with “Purity Culture,” or the idealization of certain practices and belief systems over others. Specifically, we are triggered by the LDS Church’s usage of, and changes to Carlo Maratta’s “The Holy Night” for their “Light the World” campaign (and cover for the Christmas Devotional), and we do some real-time processing of these issues.

 

Lexy shares stories about growing up in “radical Mormonism,” and later as a wife and mother, meeting Elder Renlund of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Like Elder Renlund, Lexy feels like Jesus wouldn’t care what she was wearing, but that He would be happy we were trying to connect with Him. Mary thinks it’s our choice to be affected by how other people look, and we both agree that we all need to be responsible for our own thoughts.

 

Mary references the Brooke Snow podcast, Episode 123, about how our connection to God is constant and unconditional. We don’t believe we need to accomplish a checklist, or dress a certain way to feel the love of our Savior; these things may help, but they are not a requirement. And shaming people for what they do or do not check off on this list does not help them draw closer to God.

 

Lexy references Dr. Julie Hanks, who often talks about “Purity Culture,” or the shame-based teaching of abstinence and value of women and their bodies. We think there has got to be a better way to teach our kids and teens to navigate their lives with more love and clarity than with shame and judgment. Like Lexy said, “when you’re living in shame, you really cannot live your best life.”

 

Let’s stop judging one another for the way we look and dress, and start treating each other as Jesus would–-with love, understanding, and kindness. We are all children of God, and we’re all just trying to figure out who we really are, and to find peace with our real selves.

 

Our Better Betty Challenge for this week is to embrace our own journeys, and to find peace and healing in that process. We are all trying to let go of the shame, and feel higher-frequency emotions, like love and gratitude. We hope you can embrace others, even if they might have different beliefs or standards or priorities than we do.

 

Please follow us on Instagram @thebettyspodcast. Tell us how you feel about purity culture, and let us know how you overcome shame. You can also find us on Facebook as The Bettys Podcast, and on Twitter @bettys_podcast

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Thank you for listening, friends. You are “brave enough to be the sky.” And we love you more.