067 - How to Build Character, Even When You’re Being an Anti-Hero

Welcome back, friends! Today Alexis and Mary are talking about CHARACTER. There’s a lot of definitions (which we go through a little bit . . . thank you, Oxford Learners Dictionaries for this information! We also talk a little about overexposure and underexposure in photography. Here’s a good article explaining this concept.

 

Mary recently finished watching “Better Call Saul” (a prequel to “Breaking Bad,” available to stream here on Netflix) and attempts to explain some of the definitions of character using some of the roles and situations found in these fascinating (and very TV-MA) shows. Some characters cannot be defined either, like (the unpronounceable symbol to which Prince briefly changed his name).

 

We do go into anti-hero behavior (thank you, TayTay), and how sometimes we find ourselves acting out-of-character. But when we find ourselves in hot water, we can choose one of three outcomes: to become hard (like an egg), to become soft (like a carrot), or to change our environment (like a coffee bean). Mary and Lexy VERY HIGHLY recommend listening to this episode of the Ed Mylett podcast: “The Greatest Life Transformation Behind Bars” with Damon West.

 

We also love the books The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho and The Untethered Soul: the journey beyond yourself by Michael Singer. This quote from chapter 8 (“let go now or fall”) is particularly salient:

 

People don’t understand that fear is a thing. It’s just another object in the universe that you are capable of experiencing. You can do one of two things with fear: you can recognize tha you have it and work to release it, or you can keep it and try to hide from it. Because people don’t deal with fear objectively, they don’t understand it. They end up keeping their fear and trying to prevent things from happening that would stimulate it. They go through life attempting to create safety and control by defining how they need life to be in order to be okay. This is how the world becomes frightening.

This may not sound frightening; it may sound safe. But it’s not. If you do this, the world truly becomes threatening. Life becomes a “me against it” situation. When you have fear, insecurity, or weakness inside of you, and you attempt to keep it from being stimulated, there will inevitably be events and changes in life that challenge your efforts. Because you resist these changes, you feel that you are struggling with life. (Singer, M. A. (2007). The untethered soul: The journey beyond yourself. 71-72)

 

Our Better Betty Challenge for today is to consider what paradigm shift is happening in your life (whether you want it to or not): is it a changing relationship? A new job? A move? Any or all of these thing may be frightening, and we may want to resist them. But what if they are an intervention from the universe? Ask yourself what can this situation teach you. And please remember this quote from Paulo Coelho:

 

When you want something, the whole universe conspires to make it happen.

And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.

 

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Thank you for listening, Bettys and Jacks. You are very fine characters (even if you may find yourself being an anti-hero from time to time), and your listening and your messages are character-building for us. You’re wonderful, and we love you more.