071 - Feeling Like You Want to Escape Your Life? 3 Tips on How to Belong to Yourself

Good morning, Bettys and Jacks! A quick PSA: please don’t light fireworks under your sensitive areas. (This may or may not be among the things we don’t imagine having to explain to our children). We are having a weird summer holiday season; why do we have to be so responsible?!

 

Mary talks a little about her mother-in-law, who lived with her for several years. While they have a good relationship, there was a price. Mary had some unhealthy patterns and work relationships in her ‘escapist era.’ Some of that stemmed from feeling like she didn’t belong and wasn’t needed in her home.

 

So what does it mean to belong to yourself? Brené Brown says that “in the absence of love and belonging, there will always be suffering.” She also says that “we have to belong to ourselves as much as we need to belong to others. Any belonging that asks us to betray ourselves is not true belonging.” And one of the greatest examples of belonging to himself is Mary’s son Benji, who is on the autism spectrum.

 

Alexis talks a bit about belonging in early child development, and Mary thinks that intellectually we know we need to belong, but we don’t think we deserve it. One of the hardest things to accept is that you DO belong somewhere. In her book Atlas of the Heart, Brené talks about the difference between belonging and fitting in.

 

Listen in for some great discussion about our Better Betty Challenge: Brené’s three tips on belonging to yourself and belonging at home: 

 

Be here. Stop trying to escape, or wishing it away.

Be you. Accept who you are, and make your own place.

Belong. Be okay with yourself and where you are in life.

 

You deserve to be okay. You deserve to be happy. As Lexy said, “if it makes you happy and fires you up, and it’s good and wholesome, then it’s probably helping you belong to yourself.”

 

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Thank you for listening, Betty. In your home and in your family, you are IRREPLACEABLE. And it’s okay to have boundaries–your opinions matter as much as anyone else’s. And please remember that we love you more.