074 - Betty Byte: More Helps for Setting Boundaries

Hello, Bettys and Jacks. It’s time for another Betty Byte: a little taste of something helpful. And this short episode packs a pretty good punch.

 

Lexy continues her list of ways to set healthy boundaries, reading from this Instagram post by Dr. Atina Manvelian. Here are all of the steps (and some of Mary's and Lexy’s commentary) for setting healthy boundaries with difficult people:

1. Be mindful of how you feel around them
2. Identify when your boundaries get crossed. Crossing boundaries = disrespect
3. Pause. Decide the best way to respond. In general, responses are not well-received when they are given in anger.
4. Be prepared for them to react strongly, because you’re going against their expectations. Setting a boundary is breaking a chain of patterns.
5. Set your boundary by telling them what you need, and responding in a way that protects YOU
6. Expect an increase in their bad behavior, but don’t give in! Maintain your boundaries to teach them that they cannot treat you poorly
7. Soothe yourself. Remind yourself why you’re maintaining these boundaries. Your feelings are important, too. Your safety, your well-being, and your mental health matters.
8. Seek support and encouragement. This can be scary, because you’re going to have to start talking and being vulnerable
9. Celebrate every small win.

 

Lexy also quotes The Holistic Psychologist and Josie’s Writing.

 

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Thank you for listening today. We hope this episode can help you understand why and how we all need to be better about setting and observing boundaries. We’re so grateful for you, and remember that we love you more.