Midlife Cry, Sis (Formerly known as The Bettys Podcast)

049 - Hairspray

Hello, hello, Bettys and Jacks!! Today we’re talking about a different musical. Or movie. Or movie-musical based on a movie. Anyway, we’re talking about Hairspray! Mary saw the Broadway touring company version of it recently, and watched the 2007 movie-musical version (with John Travolta) which is available to stream on Amazon Prime here (Mary and Alexis also talk about tsunamis and the 2014 masterpiece Interstellar).
 
Mary has a few lessons she learned from this story:
Some people will try to talk you out of your dreams. Don’t let them.
Good things can come from unexpected places. And unexpected events can give you some really great perspective you wouldn’t have otherwise.
People want to see people who look like them doing what they want to do (like Jamie Kern Lima, Lizzo, and Winnie Harlow). 
We can face the future with either excitement or fear.
The time is always right to stand up for what’s right.
 
Our Better Betty Challenge for this week is to be open to the lessons you can find everywhere. Find one lesson that can change you, and let it.
 
Please get in touch! Shoot us an email at thebettyspodcast@gmail.com, and please follow us on Instagram @thebettyspodcast, on Facebook as The Bettys Podcast, and on Twitter @bettys_podcast. 
 
We want to hear from you! Your comments and messages really help us know what you want to hear and how we can improve. If this show resonates with you, please make sure to share & subscribe, and give us a rating & review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
 
Please support our sponsor, Get It Done services.
 
Thank you for listening, friends. We hope you can embrace the future with reality and excitement. We’re so grateful for you. And we love you more.

048 - School of Rock

Hello, rockstars! We spend a fair amount of time in this episode talking about music, concerts, and the Cache Theater Company production of School of Rock, a musical based on the 2003 film starring Jack Black. Because of this, we felt this episode needed a Spotify Playlist to go along with it! (And here's a great list of concerts coming to Utah this summer and fall!)
 
Mary and Lexy talk about reconnecting with yourself, and how concerts are one way Mary reconnects with her inner rocker. Lexy likes to connect with her inner child by “hitting it hard” while dancing, and playing music for her family.
 
We also talk about disruption, and how it creates some of the biggest changes in our lives. Mary talks about the renovation of the Salt Lake LDS Temple, and how an earthquake in 2020 revealed other weaknesses that wouldn’t have been known before. Disruption also reminds Lexy of flowers that can grown in the cracks of broken concrete. Focusing on our happy thoughts (like Robin Williams in the 1992 classic film Hook, which is currently available to stream on HBOMax) can help us get through our hard times. 
 
Our Better Betty Challenge is to find something that disrupts–a song, a movie, a frog-hunt, or something that will remind you of more carefree times–and let it be your happy thought for this week. Let that inner child fight, fly, and crow!
 
Please get in touch! Shoot us an email at thebettyspodcast@gmail.com, and please follow us on Instagram @thebettyspodcast, on Facebook as The Bettys Podcast, and on Twitter @bettys_podcast. 
 
We want to hear from you! Your comments and messages really help us know what you want to hear and how we can improve. If this show resonates with you, please make sure to share & subscribe, and give us a rating & review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
 
Please support our sponsor, Get It Done services.
 
Thank you for listening, Bettys and Jacks. You are our happy thoughts, and we love you more.
 

047 - The Happiness Agenda

“Chug! Chug! Chug!” Yes, we believe that drinking water will help us with our happiness, but so do pink spandex shorts. Welcome to the Bettys podcast
 
Mary and Lexy talk about growing up ‘off-the-grid,’ and how there wasn’t a lot to do in Logan, Utah when we were growing up. Even though our kids may be super busy these days, we are very much fans of seatbelts and helmets. And Doritos.
 
Mary references an article from the New York Times about “The Finnish Secret to Happiness.” The article references the fascinating 2023 Happiness Report and “The Happiness Agenda” which talks about the ethos, habits and conditions that are most associated with life satisfaction and population tendencies that most often lead to happiness and well-being. 
 
We discuss the importance of a social “safety net,” which can really help people–especially caregivers–make ends meet. Professor Arto O. Salonen of the University of Eastern Finland said: “when you know what is enough, you are happy.” So what is enough for us? As our friend Alison Faulkner says, “Enough is a decision, not an amount.”
 
Mary also talks about author Meg Conley, who writes about Homeculture, and the undervaluing of caregiving (read her excellent article in Harper’s Bazaar here).
 
Our Better Betty Challenge for this week is to get rid of 10 things from your closet. Simplify a little bit. We could all do better with recognizing what we have, and where we are finding our happiness.
 
Please get in touch! Shoot us an email at thebettyspodcast@gmail.com, and please follow us on Instagram @thebettyspodcast, on Facebook as The Bettys Podcast, and on Twitter @bettys_podcast. 
 
We want to hear from you! Your comments and messages really help us know what you want to hear and how we can improve. If this show resonates with you, please make sure to share & subscribe, and give us a rating & review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
 
Please support our sponsor, Get It Done services.
 
Thank you for listening, Bettys and Jacks. We are so happy to call you our friends. And please remember that we love you more.
 

046 - Breathe (with Bonnie Gray)

Hello, friends! Get out your notebooks and pens, because you’ll definitely want to take notes on this very special episode of The Bettys Podcast. Today we are joined by author Bonnie Gray to talk about her book Breathe: 21 Ways to Stress Less and Transform Chaos to Calm. Bonnie Gray is a Soul Care mentor and coach, and the author of several other books: Whispers of Rest, Finding Spiritual Whitespace and Sweet Like Jasmine, an ECPA 2022 Christian Book Award Finalist. Having healed from PTSD, Bonnie is passionate about helping thousands of listeners detox stress and flourish in emotional wellness with God’s love through soul care, Bible Study and prayer. Bonnie is a trusted voice writing for Proverbs 31, Christianity Today and Relevant Magazine. She is also the host of Breathe: The Stress Less Podcast. She loves hiking and eating waffles with her husband and two teenage boys in Silicon Valley.
 
We encourage you to take Bonnie’s Soul Care Quiz to learn which area of wellness you’re missing at SoulCareQuiz.com. For both Mary and Lexy, it seems to be spirituality, and Bonnie helps us look for more ways we can connect with Jesus by making time for things that bring us joy and peace, giving “feet to our faith.” Bonnie says that “soul care” sounds selfish on the surface, but it’s necessary for us.  She shows us how to do “breath prayers” and opens up scriptures like 1 Peter 5:7: “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
 
We didn’t have a Better Betty Challenge for today, but we hope you will support Bonnie’s incredible and refreshing work by purchasing her book and listening to her podcast. You can find her beautiful book here on Amazon, and it is available as an audiobook as well, narrated by the author. 
 
Please get in touch! You can message us or shoot us an email at thebettyspodcast@gmail.com. Please follow us on Instagram @thebettyspodcast, on Facebook as The Bettys Podcast, and on Twitter @bettys_podcast. 
 
We want to hear from you! Your comments and messages really help us know what you want to hear and how we can improve. If this show resonates with you, please make sure to share & subscribe, and give us a rating & review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
 
Please support our sponsor, Get It Done services.
 
We’re so grateful for you, Bettys and Jacks. Thank you for listening, and for giving us opportunities like this to speak to some women who have remarkable ministries in this world. And always remember that we love you more.
 

045 - Men & Emotions

Hi, friends. This episode was recorded a few weeks ago, before certain current events unfolded. We hope to be in actual Spring now, though it is still snowing in some places. Heaven help us, with roofs collapsing and flooding . . . we’ll just stick to the Bunny slope.
 
We talk a bit about Robin Williams, an American comedian who both Lexy and Mary adored.. He died by suicide in 2014, and we hope to open up a little more conversation about the mental health of men we love. We talk about how men often have big emotions, but are unable to, or are discouraged from expressing them, so they show up as arrogance, illnesses (like the man-cold) or avoiding the conversation and deflecting with anger or humor.
 
We reference a few quotes and resources from our queen Brené Brown.
List of emotions, or “places we go when . . .”
Atlas Hub (all things Atlas of the Heart)
Atlas of the Heart Special on HBO Max
 
And this quote:
“Show me a woman who can hold space for a man in real fear and vulnerability, and I’ll show you a woman who’s learned to embrace her own vulnerability and who doesn’t derive her power or status from that man. Show me a man who can sit with a woman in real fear and vulnerability and just hear her struggle without trying to fix it or give advice, and I’ll show you a man who’s comfortable with his own vulnerability and doesn’t derive his power from being Oz, the all-knowing and all-powerful” (― Brené Brown, Rising Strong: The Reckoning. The Rumble. The Revolution).
We talk about the “Silent Crisis” and how it all comes down to being heard. We reference an incredible podcast episode from Ed Mylett published in November 2022, with guest Kevin Hines. We believe that much of the work of suicide prevention can be done by identifying our emotions, and providing a non-judgemental listening ear to those who are struggling. Using Brené’s list of emotions, or a wheel of emotions like this may help in this process.
 
Our Better Betty Challenge for today is to check-in with at least one of the men in your life. Don’t always try to solve their problems, and be a safe space for them, like the Diamond Dogs are for Roy Kent (language warning!).
 
Please get in touch! You can message us or shoot us an email at thebettyspodcast@gmail.com. Please follow us on Instagram @thebettyspodcast, on Facebook as The Bettys Podcast, and on Twitter @bettys_podcast. 
 
We want to hear from you! Your comments and messages really help us know what you want to hear and how we can improve. If this show resonates with you, please make sure to share & subscribe, and give us a rating & review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
 
Please support our sponsor, Get It Done services.
 
Wherever you may find yourself on that wheel, or whatever kind of aircraft you may think you are (Mary is a private jet, and Lexy is a stunt helicopter), we believe that more patience, grace and love in this world can only make things better–especially with the men in our lives.
We’re so grateful for you, Bettys and Jacks. And remember that we love you more.
 

044 - Wisdom From Lex

This episode is chock-full of wisdom that Alexis has been collecting from various sources and trainings. She cites Tony Robbins, Napoleon Hill, and even Sylvester Stallone as sources of inspiration. We hope to pass on some delicious tidbits to enlighten your beautiful minds.
 
Here are a few of those nuggets of wisdom that Lex is passing on to you, Bettys and Jacks:
Energy is a habit. If you want to produce more results, you’ve gotta raise your energy
Don’t make your family suffer because of your ego
Focus = Feelings
Is life happening to you or for you?
All suffering starts with the illusion of loss. 
Fear is the imagination undirected. Also, it is False Evidence About Reality.
We overestimate what we can do in a year, and underestimate what we can do in 10.
Crisis leads to breakthroughs. And a midlife crisis is the gift that keeps on giving.
 
And that’s just in the first 20 minutes! Mary and Lexy talk about changing our stories, our emotional homes, the three forces of creation, decisions/incisions, the Mob Museum in Las Vegas, Brooke Castillo and The Model, and so much more. 
 
Our Better Betty Challenge for this week is to pick your favorite bit of wisdom, write it down, and share it! And if you have some insights you’d like to share with us, please do! We’d love to learn from our incredible listeners as well. Please message us by shooting us an email at thebettyspodcast@gmail.com or hitting up our DMs on Instagram (@thebettyspodcast), on Facebook as The Bettys Podcast, and on Twitter @bettys_podcast. 
 
We want to hear from you! Your comments and messages really help us know what you want to hear and how we can improve. If this show resonates with you, please make sure to share & subscribe, and give us a rating & review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
 
Please support our sponsor, Get It Done services.
 
We hope you can put yourself into a beautiful state today, that you’ll stand up for yourself and value your precious energy. We hope you’ll go to the mountains, to the ocean, or some other place where you can feel the love of God and the Universe and know how small and wonderful and important you are. We’re so grateful for you. And remember that we love you more.
 

043 - Back in a Bit

Hi, friends. Sorry we don't have a full episode for you today. The last couple of weeks have been really tough--including Spring Break and a trip to California for our sweet Grandmother's funeral. We'll get back to our regularly scheduled programming of 1-2 episodes per week as soon as possible. 
Thanks for your patience and your continued listening. And we love you more.

042 - The Second Act, or The Middle of the Road

“We’ve got wiggles!” This episode of the Bettys Podcast contains some spoilers . . . for The Fugitive (1993). And some for season one of Succession (watch on HoboMax here, rated TV-MA for lots of language and mature content), and for season one of Shrinking (watch on AppleTV here, rated TV-MA for language and a lil’ bit of nudity). Be careful what you watch, though, because it can really affect your headspace!
 
Mary references a Wikipedia article about the Three-Act Structure for many films, and uses The Fugitive as an example. The first act is the exposition–world building, set-up, and an introduction to the characters. The second act is the rising action, including confrontation and conflict, and also where most of the character-development happens. The third act is the climax, the “big fight at the end,” and the resolution of the story. Mary is fascinated by Midlife, and talks about it kind-of within this structure. In talking about the second act, Lexy says that you’re gonna be hurt, but it’s gonna be awesome.
 
We reference an article written by Mary’s best friend (though she doesn’t know it yet), our Queen Brené Brown, entitled The Midlife Unraveling. This article is a great place to start, if you’re new to Brené’s work, and we highly recommend her book The Gifts of Imperfection.
 
This quote from the aforementioned article really hit us hard:
Midlife is when the universe gently places her hands upon your shoulders, pulls you close, and whispers in your ear:
I’m not screwing around. All of this pretending and performing—these coping mechanisms that you’ve developed to protect yourself from feeling inadequate and getting hurt—has to go. Your armor is preventing you from growing into your gifts. I understand that you needed these protections when you were small. I understand that you believed your armor could help you secure all of the things you needed to feel worthy and lovable, but you’re still searching and you’re more lost than ever. Time is growing short. There are unexplored adventures ahead of you. You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people think. You were born worthy of love and belonging. Courage and daring are coursing through your veins. You were made to live and love with your whole heart. It’s time to show up and be seen.
 
Mary also reads a poem/song lyrics she wrote a few years ago, called “The Middle of the Road.” We are pretty sure that you, our Bettys and Jacks, are in the middle of your own roads, and that we’re all wanting community and belonging. And to get off of our perfectionistic high-horses. 
 
Our Better Betty Challenge for today is a doozy: figure out what the Universe is trying to say to you. She might not be as direct to you as she was to Brené Brown, but she needs you to hear something. We hope we can all listen with an open heart as we walk along the middle of our own roads, and that our second acts may be full of discoveries, challenges, and that beautiful development of character that makes life so meaningful and rich. 
 
Please give us the gift of your feedback! Our email is thebettyspodcast@gmail.com. Please follow us on Instagram @thebettyspodcast, on Facebook as The Bettys Podcast, and on Twitter @bettys_podcast. Your comments and messages really help us know what you want to hear and how we can improve. 
 
If this show resonates with you, please make sure to share & subscribe, and give us a rating & review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
 
We are so grateful to be walking on this road with you, and we love you more.

041 - Breaking Through Limiting Beliefs (Jamie Kern Lima)

No, the incredible Jamie Kern Lima is not a guest on this episode of the Bettys Podcast (though we’d be honored to have her!), but we are talking about her story, her book Believe It (2021), and we quote some of her very wise words. Mary and Lexy also talk about being ‘in the arena,’ which is a reference to this quote from Theodore Roosevelt:
 
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
 
When we are willing to actually get into the arena, and face that bull, we will find the most growth in our lives. We may get dirty, we may face fear and rejection and sadness, but when we actually face them, and ‘grab-the-bull-by-the-horns,’ as it were, we can overcome many difficult things.
 
We also love this quote from Jamie Kern Lima, about who we give our microphones to: “We all have a microphone that we control in our lives. And we get to choose the people we hand that microphone to. We decide who speaks into it and at what volume. When we're able to decide who to let speak into our lives, or who we hand our microphone to, it can change everything.” 
 
Alexis talks a little more about the body’s processors, and how we can know things with our guts and our hearts that we can’t understand with our brains. We also talk about Tony Robbins, (and how Jamie Kern Lima saved up her tip money from being a Denny’s waitress to buy some Tony Robbins tapes!), and how getting into a “beautiful state” can help us process those difficult emotions.
 
Our Better Betty Challenge for this week is find one step–one thing that you’re afraid to face. Get out of the stands, and get into your own arena, look at that bull, and figure out why it’s so hard for you. Facing it gives us so much more control over our brains and our lives. Please let us know how it goes by messaging us or by shooting us an email at thebettyspodcast@gmail.com. Please follow us on Instagram @thebettyspodcast, on Facebook as The Bettys Podcast, and on Twitter @bettys_podcast. 
 
We want to hear from you! Your comments and messages really help us know what you want to hear and how we can improve. If this show resonates with you, please make sure to share & subscribe, and give us a rating & review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
 
Please support our sponsor, Get It Done services.
 
We hope you can face your own bulls in your own arenas. Don’t just be a spectator in your own lives, Bettys and Jacks. Get in there, get dirty, and after you’ve faced it, stand back and say, “Hot dang! Look how far I’ve come!” We’re so grateful for you. And remember that we love you more.

040 - Cancel Culture

For two people who know very little about Astrology, Alexis and Mary sure spend a lot of time talking about it! Lexy’s kids are obsessed with space, and there’s some discussion about planetary alignment and asteroids. But, “in other space news . . .”
 
Lexy has been thinking about our conversation about Rachel Hollis (listen to Episode 34 of the Bettys Podcast here!), and how and why we ‘cancel’ people. We feel the need to hold people (especially women) to an impossible standard of perfection, if they are willing to put themselves out there. Mary talks a little about Ted Lasso (rated TV-MA for language, available to stream on Apple+), and the wonderful relationship between Rebecca and Keeley. 
 
We also talk about the differences in scrutiny between men and women. Lexy talks about the podcast episode she listened to with Glennon Doyle and Brene Brown, (listen to episode 49 of “We Can Do Hard Things” here), where Brene talks about her struggle to get published in an academic (not “self-help”) space. We think cancel culture looks a lot like shame culture, and if you’d like to learn more about that, please check out Brene’s incredible TED talk here.
 
We mention J.K. Rowling, Hogwarts Legacy, and Disney remakes (like Maleficent, Cruella, etc.) showing the humanity of the villains. Mary also talks about her friend’s seizure and her struggle with epilepsy, and how her friend did all she could to take care of herself and to accept help when needed.
 
Our Better Betty Challenge for this week is to figure out how we might be dehumanizing people. We all need to think about why we may want to “cancel” someone, and look at what effect our words may have on others. Let us know how it goes by messaging us or by shooting us an email at thebettyspodcast@gmail.com. Please follow us on Instagram @thebettyspodcast, on Facebook as The Bettys Podcast, and on Twitter @bettys_podcast. 
 
We want to hear from you! Your comments and messages really help us know what you want to hear and how we can improve. If this show resonates with you, please make sure to share & subscribe, and give us a rating & review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
 
Please support our sponsor, Get It Done services.
 
Thank you for listening, Bettys and Jacks. We appreciate your willingness to turn ploughshares into swords, and to help us create soft places to land. Let’s use our witchy powers for good. And always remember–we love you more.