Midlife Cry, Sis (Formerly known as The Bettys Podcast)

039 - Showing Up For Ourselves, Showing Up For God (Father Stu)

Even though Mary has to apologize for the sound quality of this episode, we think it’s still worth putting it out into the world. This is a really good conversation, and we couldn’t re-create it with the original power. Obviously we’re still figuring out how to do this thing, and we’re trying to keep it real, so thanks for bearing with us. 
 
Alexis has had a quote on her mind for a while, which came from the 2022 film “Father Stu,” starring Marky Mark Wahlburg (rated “R” for language, although there is a PG-13 version that was re-released in theaters, and will hopefully be available to stream somewhere soon). It’s based on a true story; you can watch it on Netflix here). The quote is, “I ain’t here for the fellowship. I’m here for the worship.” We talk about what worship means in our faith, and why we attend the churches we do. 
 
Mary and Alexis talk about the expectations of church-going, and how we show up. As Ham (Stu’s friend) said: “I think God saw something in you worth saving. But it’s up to you to decide what you’ve got to offer.” We don’t think God wants us to be robots and attend church out of expectation or obligation; He wants us to show up for ourselves–even if we’re in a rocker phase, like Miley Cyrus. When we show up for God as our true selves, we believe that is true worship.
 
In the film, Stu meets a “Barfly,” who looks remarkably like Jesus, and gives Stu some good advice: “Life’s gonna give you a gut full of reasons to be angry, kid. You only need one to be grateful.” 
 
Our Better Betty Challenge for this week is to figure out where and how you may be living in the expectations of others. If you find that the way you are showing up for God is robotic, and you feel you need a change, we invite you to rededicate yourself to worship, not just fellowship. Let us know how it goes by messaging us or by shooting us an email  at thebettyspodcast@gmail.com. If you don’t need a break, good for you! Please follow us on Instagram @thebettyspodcast, on Facebook as The Bettys Podcast, and on Twitter @bettys_podcast. 
 
We want to hear from you! Your comments and messages really help us know what you want to hear and how we can improve. If this show resonates with you, please make sure to share & subscribe, and give us a rating & review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
 
Please support our sponsor, Get It Done services.
 
Thank you for your support and patience, Bettys and Jacks. We appreciate your putting up with our sound quality issues, fumbling over our words, and all the things. We hope you can liberate your own hearts from the walls of expectations, and decide what showing up for God and showing up for yourself looks like in your life.  We’re so grateful for you. And we love you more.
 

038 - The Off-Season

In this magical episode of the Bettys Podcast, Mary and Lexy talk about vacations, musicals, and glitter poo. Fueled by tears and energy drinks, and recuperating from “weeks of hell and happiness,” this is a ‘diarrhea-of-the-mouth’ type episode, where we talk a lot about what’s been happening in our lives the past little while.
 
Lexy tells the story of when we blew a tire in Mexico, making for an extremely memorable birthday celebration. Mary and her family celebrated another big milestone for Allen in Disneyland earlier this month, and although it was magical, it was also exhausting. And while trying to keep up with everything, we both decided we need an Alice–someone to manage our households!
 
We also talk about how everyone’s seasons are different. Lexy mentions a podcast by Glennon Doyle, where she and her wife Abby Wambach speak to our queen Brene Brown (listen to episode 49 of “We Can Do Hard Things here).
 
Mary talks about her quick trip to Las Vegas following five days at Disneyland, so she’s pooped (not glitter-poo, just tired and headachy). She talks a bit about, and highly recommends a Rick’s walking tour of downtown–check it out here! (And get some killer fresh-squeezed lemonade at the Container Park here!
 
We didn’t have a Better Betty challenge for this week; we just hope everyone can rest, recover, and reset from whatever hard thing they’ve been doing. Please shoot us an email at thebettyspodcast@gmail.com, and please follow us on Instagram @thebettyspodcast, on Facebook as The Bettys Podcast, and on Twitter @bettys_podcast. 
 
We want to hear from you! Your comments and messages really help us know what you want to hear and how we can improve. If this show resonates with you, please make sure to share & subscribe, and give us a rating & review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
 
Please support our sponsor, Get It Done services.
 
Thank you for listening, friends. We hope you have a magical week! And remember–we love you more!
 

037 - Shotgun Wedding

This episode of the Bettys Podcast is for all you J.Lo fangirls out there. Okay, not really, but there is a fair amount of celebrity and relationship talk, as we discuss the 2022 movie “Shotgun Wedding” (rated “R” for language and violence, stream it on Amazon Prime here).
 
Mary gives a not-so-brief synopsis about the plot of this romantic action-comedy, and we talk about some of the relationships amongst the people who showed up for this destination wedding. Jennifer Lopez (a.k.a. Darcy) is getting married to Josh Duhamel (a.k.a. Tom), and their wedding in the Philippines is hijacked by pirates. Throughout the movie, Darcy and Tom have to find a way to free their family members from this hostage situation, while dealing with their own challenges–including cold feet, and a super-hot ex-fiance (Lenny Kravitz).
 
There are also some good metaphors throughout this movie, like the zip-ties used to bind Darcy and Tom together (the kitchen scene with the meat slicer is SO FUNNY!), the hand-grenades that Darcy ends up carrying, and the “hand-me-down” wedding dress (that looks 100% custom made for J.Lo). 
 
In a move that surprises exactly no one, Mary also finds a way to bring U2 into the conversation. She’s reading Surrender, a memoir by Bono, in which he talks about his mother, who died when he was 14 years old. The song Iris is about her (listen here on Spotify or watch here on YouTube).
Our Better Betty Challenge for this week is a doozy: it is to strip away the excess–the DIYs, fluffy sleeves, and hand-grenades–to look at the things that are taking away from our most treasured relationships. What would you take with you from a burning house? We hope we can all recommit, forgive what needs to be forgiven, and say what needs to be said. Please let us know how it goes by messaging us on social media, or by shooting us an email at thebettyspodcast@gmail.com. Please follow us on Instagram @thebettyspodcast, on Facebook as The Bettys Podcast, and on Twitter @bettys_podcast. 
 
We want to hear from you! Your comments and messages really help us know what you want to hear and how we can improve. If this show resonates with you, please make sure to share & subscribe, and give us a rating & review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
 
Please support our sponsor, Get It Done services.
 
Thank you for the gift of your time, Bettys and Jacks. We don’t take it for granted. Like J.Lo’s dress, we hope to help you find/make your life into something that is gorgeous, hardcore and works for you. Free yourselves to be yourselves. If only you could really see yourselves–you’d know why we love you more.
 

036 - Inferiority & Superiority

Today’s episode of The Bettys Podcast is about how, at times, we feel inferior and/or superior to others. Alexis and Mary talk a lot about competition, and about our fuels for growth. We also talk about capitalism and shopping as a quick-fix for superiority (gotta have those Jordans!), and how sometimes we mistake our feelings of inferiority for humility.
 
Lexy revisits her old blogs, and although they made her uncomfortable, she followed the advice of our Queen Brene Brown, who says we need to “lean into the discomfort of the work” (watch her first incredible TED Talk here). Lexy references the book The Courage to be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi, and Mary talks about a novel she read recently called Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin.
 
We hope you will only find competition with yourself, and not judge yourself by what others are doing. Remember–”Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” (This quote is often attributed to Einstein, but is likely from an Aesop fable; see this article from Quote Investigator)
 
Our Better Betty Challenge for this week is to redefine YOUR values for YOUR timetable, being mindful of unnecessary competition. We are only in competition with ourselves, so consider journaling, to check in with yourself. Let us know how it goes by messaging us or by shooting us an email at thebettyspodcast@gmail.com. Please follow us on Instagram @thebettyspodcast, on Facebook as The Bettys Podcast, and on Twitter @bettys_podcast. 
 
We want to hear from you! Your comments and messages really help us know what you want to hear and how we can improve. If this show resonates with you, please make sure to share & subscribe, and give us a rating & review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
 
Please support our sponsor, Get It Done services.
 
Thank you for being you, our Bettys and our Jacks. We appreciate your support, we love your feedback, and we hope you can find fuel in inferiority that will compel you to improve your own lives. You’re wonderful. And please remember–we love you more.

035 - Growth Mindset

Hello from a very snowy Northern Utah! In this episode of the Bettys Podcast, we talk about snow days and homeschooling, and what we are teaching our kids (including radical handwashing and nail-painting). We also talk more about eggs–and about having them all in one basket.
 
Mary gives an update on her job application, and checks out the Harvard Business School website. They write about having a Growth Mindset (especially for entrepreneurs), explaining that “ability and intelligence can be achieved through effort.” Talents and skills are learnable.
 
Author, professor and psychologist Carol Dweck is considered one of the foremost researchers and educators on motivation and mindset. Her 2007 book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success is a powerful work on fixed vs. growth mindsets (listen to her speech here). She talks about the power of YET, and how saying “Not Yet” can be a path into the future, without limiting yourself with the abilities of your past. Alexis and Mary talk about this in raising children and in work environments, and how we value the effort that we put in–not just in a ‘perfect’ result.
 
Mary also talks about Clayton Christensen, a professor at Harvard Business school, and member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  She references an excellent article written by Elder Christensen for fairlatterdaysaints.org. You can also watch his TED Talk here.
 
Our Better Betty Challenge for this week is to think about your life, career, family, and whatever you are working on, and find some strengths of yours that you can apply elsewhere. How can you use your skills and life experience to help you in your future? Please let us know how it goes by messaging us or by shooting us an email at thebettyspodcast@gmail.com. Please follow us on Instagram @thebettyspodcast, on Facebook as The Bettys Podcast, and on Twitter @bettys_podcast. 
 
We want to hear from you! Your comments and messages really help us know what you want to hear and how we can improve. If this show resonates with you, please make sure to share & subscribe, and give us a rating & review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
 
Please support our sponsor, Get It Done services.
 
We appreciate your support, friends. We love your feedback, and we hope you know how capable you are, and that you’re only limited by what your brain tells you you don’t know yet. Change it up, Buttercup. And remember–we love you more.

034 - Masculine & Feminine Energy

In this episode of the Bettys Podcast, Mary and Alexis do a little social commentary. Mostly commenting on social media, and on media personalities Rachel Hollis and her ex-husband Dave Hollis, who passed away recently.
 
We also talk about masculine and feminine energies, as well as personality preferences along a spectrum. Everyone is at a different place on that blue-to-red sliding scale, and our shades of purple may vary based on any number of things. No shade of purple is better than another, and we love them all!
 
Rachel Hollis is the author of several books, including Girl, Wash Your Face. Dave Hollis was the author of Get Out of Your Own Way, and several other books, including a children's book called Here’s To Your Dreams. We are grateful for the help and guidance these two people have given to us on our own journeys of self-improvement, and we hope to learn much from this tragedy while allowing Rachel and her family much grace during this heartbreaking time
 
Listen to or watch Rachel’s interview with Ed Mylett here (episode from September 2018)
Listen to or watch Dave’s interview with Lewis Howes here (episode 926 of The School of Greatness in March 2020).
 
Our Better Betty Challenge for this week is to think about our own relationships with social media, and consider taking a week-long break. If you want to join Mary in logging off for Lent, please do! Let us know how it goes by messaging us or by shooting us an email  at thebettyspodcast@gmail.com. If you don’t need a break, good for you! Please follow us 
on Instagram @thebettyspodcast, on Facebook as The Bettys Podcast, and on Twitter @bettys_podcast. 
 
We want to hear from you! Your comments and messages really help us know what you want to hear and how we can improve. If this show resonates with you, please make sure to share & subscribe, and give us a rating & review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
 
Please support our sponsor, Get It Done services.
 
Thank you for being real, Bettys and Jacks. We appreciate your support, and we hope you can figure your own stuff out without reference to someone else’s agenda. Just be you, because you’re amazing. And please remember–we love you more.
 

033 - Fugly February

Be prepared, Bettys and Jacks–there’s a lot of Valentines-related venting in this episode. And laughing. Mary’s already sexy alto is even sexier (i.e., lower, with more coughing) because of whatever crappy virus is going around right now. 
 
This “magical month of adoration” is a little more complicated for Alexis and Mary, so we have dubbed this FUGLY FEBRUARY. According to Merriam-Webster, the term “fugly” was first used in 1980, but it came into our consciousness with Mean Girls (2004). We talk a lot about the expectations we have around Valentine’s day, and how for Mary it’s a double whammy because it’s also Benji’s birthday. 
 
So we’re exhausted, we’re Vitamin D deficient (not a metaphor, but we do talk about being “horndogs”), and we’re both way out of balance. Mary spent most of the week fighting with her husband about how to “fix” it. We’re not computers, so please don’t try to ctrl+alt+del your way out of this one–we’re pretty sure we both need a whole system upgrade.
 
Our Better Betty Challenge for this week (this month!) is to not write off February as fugly. It’s a good time for reassessment of WHY we do what we do, WHO we are actually doing it for (pro-tip: It’s me. Hi. I’m the problem–it’s me), and WHAT we are avoiding by placing all of these unrealistic expectations upon ourselves. 
 
Please follow us on Instagram @thebettyspodcast, on Facebook as The Bettys Podcast, and on Twitter @bettys_podcast. We want to hear from you! Your comments and messages really help us know what you want to hear and how we can improve. Please continue to comment on our posts, shoot us a DM, or feel free to send us an email at thebettyspodcast@gmail.com
 
If this show resonates with you, please make sure to share & subscribe, and give us a rating & review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
 
Please support our sponsor, Get It Done services.
 
So, Bettys, take back your February. Get a good night’s sleep. Embrace your “slut era.” And turn it from FUGLY into FABULOUS. And remember–we love you more.

032 - I Left My Heart in Oregon

“How are you doing, Betty?” We hope you are holding up through hibernation season, and that you are getting some rest, even if it is the not-very-restful type of ‘Mom-Sleep.’
 
This episode is a kind of trip-report/know-yourself-better/cautionary tale with a side of fangirling advertisement. Mary recently spent a weekend in Oregon, and has some stories to share. Like the one about where she spent too much time in Target in Portland (although Alexis did the same at the Ross in Oahu). Or what kind of travel styles we have (spoiler alert: Mary is the fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants type; Mary’s brother Dave is more of a ‘plan-plan-plan, go-go-go’ type, and Lexy is a hybrid of the two). Or what kind of hotels we prefer. The Graduate Hotel in Eugene is nice, but tries too hard, while Mary thinks the Silver Surf Motel in Yachats is basically heaven. Ocean views never get old.
 
The whole purpose of this quick getaway was to attend the Mat Kearney concert in his hometown of Eugene (check him out on Spotify here!). Also, for our Utah listeners, Mat just added a show in Park City on March 4, 2023. If you have the opportunity, you should check it out! Tickets available here!
 
Although this episode is filled with “Hot tips from Lex,” it’s also basically an advertisement for the new Chevy Blazer–Mary’s rental car that she couldn’t stop raving about. It’s an incredible vehicle, with so many thoughtful features (Chevy is not a sponsor, but we are certainly open to the idea!). It made Mary’s 5-hour drive to the dark beach an absolute delight.
 
Our Better Betty Challenge for this episode is to figure out your own travel style, and don’t apologize for it. One style isn’t better than another, but it is definitely helpful to know the style(s) of your traveling companions!
 
Please follow us on Instagram @thebettyspodcast, on Facebook as The Bettys Podcast, and on Twitter @bettys_podcast. We want to hear from you! Your comments and messages really help us know what you want to hear and how we can improve. Please continue to comment on our posts, shoot us a DM, or feel free to send us an email at thebettyspodcast@gmail.com
 
If this show resonates with you, please make sure to share & subscribe, and give us a rating & review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
 
Please support our sponsor, Get It Done services.
 
Thanks for listening, Bettys and Jacks. Get out and see this beautiful world, and don’t lose your t-shirt. We’d go anywhere with you, and we love you more.

031 - Hero’s Journey

In what might be our most pop-culturey episode ever, Alexis and Mary attempt to tackle The Hero’s Journey, and our place within it. Although many scholars had noted the similarities within many myths and epic stories, author Joseph Campbell popularized and solidified this ‘recipe’ or common template of stories, where the hero heeds the “call to adventure,” meets and succeeds in several crises, and comes home a changed person. 
 
Lexy mentions The Angry Therapist (listen to his podcast here), and how his non-negotiable for all big changes and journeys in his life is to not come out the same. We talk about risk prevention (including a time-out performed before every surgery), and how sometimes taking risks can give us energy and momentum for growth.
 
We start talking about the hero journeys of Frodo, Spider-Man (Mary prefers the Tobey Maguire films, but there are similarities to all of them), Batman, and the Avengers. We also talk about some real-life heroes, who have much to teach about using failures to learn and innovate, like Sara Blakely, creator of Spanx, actor Matthew McConaughey, and his book, “Greenlights,” and we appreciate the wise words of some incredible leaders in the self-help world, Tony Robbins and our queen Brene Brown. We even throw in a Disney princess for good measure, but you’ll have to listen to find out which one.
 
Our Better Betty Challenge for this week is to figure out what’s really making us uncomfortable. We can all identify the words we use and the stories we tell ourselves that keep us from accepting and owning our OWN hero’s journeys, work to change them, and lean into the vulnerability and discomfort that comes with growth. 
 
Please follow us on  Instagram @thebettyspodcast, on Facebook as The Bettys Podcast, and on Twitter @bettys_podcast. We want to hear from you! Your comments and messages really help us know what you want to hear and how we can improve. Please continue to comment on our posts, shoot us a DM, or feel free to send us an email at thebettyspodcast@gmail.com
 
If this show resonates with you, please make sure to share & subscribe, and give us a rating & review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
 
Please support our sponsor, Get It Done services.
 
Thanks for listening, Bettys and Jacks. Get out there and slay your dragons, allow the refiner’s fire to work on your soul, embrace the suck, and remember that “the hero lies in you.” You’re amazing, and we love you more.

030 - How They Feel Means Nothing About Me (with Alison Faulkner)

Mary and Alexis are joined today by the one, the only, the SEXY branding, events, and education consultant, author, influencer, speaker and podcaster, THE Alison Faulkner! Talking with Alison again (after having had a “Power Hour” coaching session with her a few weeks ago) was an absolute joy, full of laughs, music references, Elle Woods quotes, and lots of life-changing wisdom and ideas. We take a chapter from her amazing book You’re Already Awesome (2022, Harper One Publishing), and dive in a little bit deeper.
 
Chapter four of Alison’s book is titled, “How They Feel Means Nothing About Me!” We talk about identity, relationship transitions, and our experiences that have colored the way we see the world. In a move which surprises exactly nobody, Lexy references Dr. Gabor Mate, then “Sexy Lexy” makes a new phrase that is an instant classic: LICK THE BUTT. *sizzle*
 
Alison (Utah’s Lady Gaga, or maybe a Mormon Ke$ha) teaches us about tuning in to our emotions, accepting them, and picking our focus (TAP), how to break mason jars, connecting with ourselves and others, and teaches us a couple of amazing mantras, including:
 
“I CAN ALWAYS LOVINGLY MOONWALK AWAY.” 
 
We are SO glad Alison was able to join us for this podcast episode! Forgive us for the not-quite-so-awesome audio quality, but this content is so good, we hope you’ll love this episode as much as we loved recording it!
 
We don’t really have a Better Betty Challenge for this episode, but we very highly recommend getting yourself a copy of this amazing book and use it to help yourself realize that “only you can be you, and you are already as awesome as you need to be.”
 
Please follow Alison on Instagram @thealisonfaulkner, check out her incredible podcast Awesome with Alison, and support her husband’s incredible music library Pleasant Pictures Music Club (the source of our theme song!). Follow us on  Instagram @thebettyspodcast. We're also on Facebook as The Bettys Podcast, and on Twitter @bettys_podcast
 
We want to hear from you! Your comments and messages really help us know what you want to hear and how we can improve. Please continue to comment on our posts, shoot us a DM, or feel free to send us an email at thebettyspodcast@gmail.com
 
If this show resonates with you, please make sure to share & subscribe, and give us a rating & review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
 
Please support our sponsor, Get It Done services.
 
We are SO grateful for our friendship with Alison, and we hope her amazing book and online content can help you as much as it has helped us. You are already awesome, and we love you more!