Midlife Cry, Sis (Formerly known as The Bettys Podcast)

029 - Follow Your Dreams (The Lost Apothecary)

Today Mary and Alexis are talking about the dreams we have–for ourselves, for our families, and for our lives. We also talk about our love of books (Barnes & Noble is intoxicating). And candles (check out A Cheerful Giver for the amazing candles Mary was talking about, as found in Apple Annie’s Country Store in Brian Head, Utah). Be aware: your candle moratorium will be over real quick.
 
Mary has always had a dream of being a teacher (and an executive assistant, but that’s neither here nor there), and according to a letter written by Lex in the 8th grade, she wanted to get a Ph.D. and go to medical school and maybe have a relationship and kids when she’s 30 . . . funny how things don’t always work out the way we think they will. 
 
We talk a bit about the plot of The Lost Apothecary by Sarah Penner, in which the two female protagonists (one in the 1790’s, and one in present day) experience lives with broken dreams and unfulfilled desires. We discuss our own dreams from 10 and 20 years ago, and we talk about what gets in the way of those dreams–particularly the thought that everyone else’s dreams (especially our spouse’s and kids’ dreams) are more important than our own. Mary mentions (again! Surprise!) Gretchen Rubin, who ‘drifted’ into Yale Law School, but soon after graduating realized she didn’t want to be a lawyer; she wanted to be a writer. Read this transcript, or listen to her interview with Tim Ferriss here.
 
We also discuss patriarchal blessings again, and how sometimes our dreams and the counsel we are given do not align. But some good direction can be helpful, as is remembering this quote from Carl Jung: 
 
“Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment and especially on their children than the unlived life of the parent.”
Our Better Betty Challenge for this episode is to think of the ways that you sabotage yourself from fulfilling your dreams. Think of one big dream, and break it down into baby steps, in order to give you a slight edge,  gain some momentum in making it a reality. Let us know what steps you are taking by messaging us on Instagram @thebettyspodcast. We're also on Facebook as The Bettys Podcast, and on Twitter @bettys_podcast
 
We want to hear from you! Your comments and messages light us up. Please continue to comment on our posts, shoot us a DM, or feel free to send us an email at thebettyspodcast@gmail.com
 
If this show resonates with you, please make sure to share & subscribe, and give us a rating & review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
 
Please support our sponsor, Get It Done services.
 
And remember, Bettys–we are grateful to be extras in your story. Take those baby steps, go for your dreams, and know that we love you more.

028 - You Are The Protagonist (The Menu)

Alexis and Mary are talking about The Menu. No, not something practical like menu planning (try The Lazy Genius for some great food, organization and life hacks!), but we’re talking about the 2022 film directed by Mark Mylod, currently available to stream on HoBo Max. Lexy is a little obsessed with Chef Slowick, played by Ralph Fiennes, and some of his very wise words, like:
 
“There is no way to avoid the mess: the mess you make of your life, your body, your sanity, by giving everything you have to pleasing people you will never know.” 
 
We also talk about Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People and another quote by Chef Slowick, who is quoting Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr:
 
“We know through painful experience that freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed” (letter from Birmingham Jail, Alabama, 16 April 1963).
 
Although neither of us are hot air balloon experts, we launch into a rather lengthy discussion of anchors, vistas, and how we retain power ourselves or give it away. We also get into a related discussion of protagonists, supporting actors/actresses, and writing our own stories. As Lexy says: 
 
“You are the writer. And you get to decide what story you’re making. Make it a good one.”
 
Our Better Betty Challenge for this episode is to be aware of what is lighting you up, of who your supporting actors/actresses are, and think about the roles they play in your life. We want you to realize that YOU are the best protagonist of YOUR story, and we don’t want you to become the villain. Please let us know if you’ve seen the film, and how you are writing and casting your own story by messaging us on Instagram @thebettyspodcast. We're also on Facebook as The Bettys Podcast, and on Twitter @bettys_podcast
 
We want to hear from you! Comment on our posts, shoot us a DM, or feel free to send us an email at thebettyspodcast@gmail.com
 
If this show resonates with you, please make sure to share & subscribe, and give us a rating & review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
 
Please support our sponsor, Get It Done services.
 
We hope you will savor your life, and taste every morsel. We hope your ongoing scene changes include us, and that we can be some supportive actresses in your story. And remember, Bettys–we love you more.
 

027 - Brave Relationships

Alexis and Mary try to make this a ‘light and fluffy’ episode, and start with whipped cream, but end up talking about some interesting relationship issues. Lexy learns a lot from her dreams, and wants to help Mary with one of hers (though Mary isn’t too anxious to talk about that specific and vivid dream!). 
 
We discuss the recent shooting in Enoch, and talk about how marriage can be a scary place for many women. All relationships have their issues, and sometimes we have to agree to disagree, but we don’t believe that anyone goes into a marriage hoping for it to fall apart. We don’t think you should judge a tree by only one season.
 
We talk about identifying your love language (take the quiz for yourself here), and showing love to our spouses, children, and friends in the language they feel and understand. Yes, some men might be like dogs, but we are all creatures that need validation. Lexy thinks that quarterly dates (at a minimum) are a good way to reconnect with a spouse, and checking in with each other frequently is vital.
 
Mary points out that Lexy referenced not one, but two Disney movies on her own: Pocahontas and Brave (available to stream on Disney+). Lexy counsels Mary to “channel her inner Merida” by possibly picking up archery with her husband, but Brave is also great at exploring a mother/daughter relationship, and how it’s helpful to walk in the other person’s shoes. Or bear feet.
 
Our Better Betty Challenge is to think about one of your important relationships, and invest in it. Figure out a way to have those difficult conversations, and communicate using “I” statements, so you can honor each other's feelings, validate them, and take responsibility for your part in whatever issues might come up. Please let us know how it goes by messaging us on Instagram @thebettyspodcast. We're also on Facebook as The Bettys Podcast, and on Twitter @bettys_podcast
 
We want to hear from you! Comment on our posts, shoot us a DM, or feel free to send us an email at thebettyspodcast@gmail.com
 
If this show resonates with you, please make sure to share & subscribe, and give us a rating & review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
 
Please support our sponsor, Get It Done services.
 
Relationships are beautiful, and they’re so very important. We are honored and grateful to have a relationship with you: thank you for spending your precious time listening to us. We hope that we can help you in some way, and we hope you always remember that we love you more.
 

026 - Power & Rest

Alexis and Mary start out this episode by talking about Peppermint Oil, and its usage in surgery (particularly in I&D’s), and it’s not pretty. Lexy gets a little sick to her stomach, but then, she “can watch people throw up all day long!” Good thing her burps taste like buttered popcorn!
Mary talks a little bit about her leadership role in her local congregation (she’s in her Stake Primary Presidency), and she has the opportunity to speak to two different congregations this week. She was assigned the topic of “Overcome the World and Find Rest,” a talk by President Russell M. Nelson, given in the October 2022 General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. So in preparation for these talks, she has been thinking about the world, what the world wants from us, what we believe its standards are, etc. 
One scripture referenced in President Nelson’s talk is Matthew 11:28-30, in which Christ invites His disciples to “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me . . . For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Mary talks about burdens, yokes, and animals and their relationships to their farmers. Despite not knowing much about animals, Mary continues talking about horses, and how powerful and useful these creatures may be. And our relationship with God may be like that, if we are willing to work, trust in His vision, believe that He will care for us, and yoke ourselves to Him.
Mary references an article she found on christianity.com speaking about being yoked to the Savior. She really appreciated what Pastor Greg Laurie had to say on the subject.
Our Better Betty Challenge for this week is to choose one burden that you need help with. Pray about it, and ask for help and advice from the Lord. We hope you will share your burdens with Him. Please let us know how it goes by messaging us on Instagram @thebettyspodcast. We're also on Facebook as The Bettys Podcast, and on Twitter @bettys_podcast
 
We want to hear from you! Comment on our posts, shoot us a DM, or feel free to send us an email at thebettyspodcast@gmail.com
If this show resonates with you, please make sure to share & subscribe, and give us a rating & review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Please support our sponsor, Get It Done services.
 
We hope you will be able to find some rest, friends. We know how burdened you are, and we also know that when we focus on the Savior, let Him calm our storms and allow Him to share our burdens, they become much easier to handle. We love you a lot, but remember–He loves you more.
 

025 - Human Design (For Dummies)

Alexis and Mary are joined by their first remote guest, Andrea Berg (visit her website here). Andrea called in from Atlanta, Georgia, and is an engineer turned Human Design expert. Since Mary is pretty skeptical, and knows nothing (as Lex is keen to remind her), this episode is basically an intro into Human Design.
 
Andrea started looking into this while working in a corporate job, where she took the Myers-Briggs personality inventory (take the assessment here) and the Strengths Finder assessment. These personality profiles, combined with ancient and modern wisdom from astrology, the I Ching, Kabbalah and Vedic chakras form a complex framework to help one understand the human experience. If you are interested, you can get your Human Design profile at GeneticMatrix.com and/or hit up the O.G. Human Design resource at the JovianArchive.com
 
We talk about Neutrinos, Energy types, Motor Centers, the 64 Gates, Authorities, Strategies, Signatures, and Profiles, though we’re really just scratching the surface. Andrea goes through these things in greater detail on her YouTube channel “Human Design in the Wild,” and in her mini-course, “Better Human.”
 
We’re still not exactly sure what “splenic authority” is, but we are beginning to understand the individualized language in which our divine downloads come to us. And we definitely agree with Andrea when she says, “You can plan as much as you want, but what is meant to happen is gonna happen.”
 
We don’t have a Better Betty Challenge for this week, but you might want to get your chart and look into this interesting tool. Tell us what type you are (Mary is a “Projector” and Lexy is a “Manifesting Generator”). Let us know what you discover about yourself! Share with us on Instagram @thebettyspodcast. We're also on Facebook as The Bettys Podcast, and on Twitter @bettys_podcast
 
We want to hear from you! Comment on our posts, shoot us a DM, or feel free to send us an email at thebettyspodcast@gmail.com
 
If this show resonates with you, please make sure to share & subscribe, and give us a rating & review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
 
Please support our sponsor, Get It Done services.
 
We hope you will “open up to the mystery of being human,” and learn something new about yourself today. “Trust that you are designed to be here and do something unique to you, and half of that process is figuring out how you are designed.”
 
And remember, friends: we love you more.

024 - Happiness: It’s In Your Hands

Mary & Alexis start off this episode discussing addiction, so there are some drug references and a couple of swears. If you’d rather not listen to this, feel free to skip ahead to about the 15:30 mark. 
 
Lexy talks about a parable she heard at a conference, about a wise old man, a young boy, and a little sparrow; you can read a retelling of it here. What we do, what we think and say and how we feel–it’s all in our own hands. We also discuss a quote attributed to Jim Carrey: “If you’re not willing to downgrade your lifestyle for a year to have a lifestyle you want forever, you care too much what other people think.” Like Marcus Taylor says, time freedom, and our futures are expensive. What are we going to do now, in order to afford our futures?
 
We talk about turning points, criticism, simplicity/minimalism, claiming the life we want, and trying to find balance. Mary refers to Brooke Castillo’s 50/50 rule, but she thinks it’s more like a 33% rule (33% happy, 33% neutral, and 33% sad). We are not always going to be happy, nor should we spend the majority of our lives being miserable. “We are not robbed, and we’re not abnormal when we’re not happy all the time. That’s just life.”
 
Lexy quotes extensively from a marvelous article from “Becoming Minimalist” called, “How to Craft A Life You Don’t Need to Escape From” by author Joshua Becker. He quotes Thomas Kinkade, who once said, “True simplicity begins when you learn to enjoy the amazing abundance of what is already yours.”
 
Our Better Betty Challenge for this week is to find ways to minimalize, so you can be more aware of your abundance. Find the things you can get rid of, so you don’t feel the need to escape your life. Also, think about what mindset shifts you can make to decide what kind of life you want and deserve to live.
 
Please share what you are getting rid of, in order to help you find some clarity and peace. Follow us on Instagram @thebettyspodcast. We're also on Facebook as The Bettys Podcast, and on Twitter @bettys_podcast
 
We want to hear from you! Comment on our posts, shoot us a DM, or feel free to send us an email at thebettyspodcast@gmail.com
 
If this show resonates with you, please make sure to share & subscribe, and give us a rating & review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
 
Please support our sponsor, Get It Done services.
 
Appreciate your season, Bettys. Embrace it all. And remember that we love you more.

023 - Be Your Own Expert

This episode was recorded before the New Year’s Eve Breakdown™ so we talk about some things that already happened, like the kids quizzing Mary on their lingo. No, she still doesn’t know what “snatched” means, though she’s definitely aware of what cookies are. That’s what Cookie Monster can’t stop eating, right? RIGHT?!?
 
Alexis and Mary talk about what an expert is, and how often we seek for and value the opinions of others above ourselves. Following the advice of too many experts may become a crutch, and as Lexy says, “we’re already programmed to be an expert in our lives.” Maybe we should be more focused on applying the knowledge we have than in seeking more. 
 
Lexy quotes Erin Jernigan about what qualifies someone as an expert. We talk about some other thought-leaders, like Malcolm Gladwell, who talks about needing to do something for 10,000 hours in order to become an expert. Lexy also talks about Dr. Joe Dispenza, who focuses on the mind-body connection and human transformation. Lexy also mentions having received a new mode of therapy called ART, or Accelerated Resolution Therapy, which also helped her coach her 7-year-old through some hard things.  
 
Our Better Betty Challenge this week is to create a vision board for 2023, or the upcoming year. Choose words, colors and pictures that will help remind you of what your goals are, what kind of person you want to be, and how you want to feel. Post it somewhere you will see it frequently, and let it remind you that you are your own best expert. Please share your vision boards on your socials, and tag us! We want to see your incredible creations! 
 
Follow us on Instagram @thebettyspodcast! And please leave a comment, We're also on Facebook as The Bettys Podcast, and on Twitter @bettys_podcast
 
We want to hear from you! Comment on our posts, shoot us a DM, or feel free to send us an email at thebettyspodcast@gmail.com
 
If this show resonates with you, please make sure to share & subscribe, and give us a rating & review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
 
Please support our sponsor, Get It Done services
 
And remember, Bettys –“It can be a wild ride, but it can still be amazing.” And we love you more.

022 - NYE Breakdown

You know how we’ve been hyping up our family’s annual New Year’s Eve party? Well, if we’re gonna BFFR, it kinda broke down this year. Some things were great, but others were sending us, and gave us a big “L” for the start of the new year. We attempted a live podcast recording with some family members participating, but it turns out that when Mary is tired (like, all the time), she’s not very good at remembering how to do certain things . . . like choosing the correct input microphone or remembering her brother-in-law’s name (sorry, Chad, who is definitely NOT a Chad!). 
 
Our NYE party this year was a modified quinceañera, where we celebrated the many 15-year-olds (and the rest of the kids, because we’re not doing this again!).  Mary talks about renting (and later purchasing) a camera from Farr’s Jewelry and Cameras in Ogden, Utah. She also mentions the wonderful camera store Pictureline, located in Salt Lake City, Utah. IYKYK.
 
As Lexy said, “I feel like breakdowns are needed sometimes, because they help you reassess.” In Mary’s desire to ‘do all the things,’ she has realized she’s the anti-James Cameron. We talk about Avatar: The Way of Water (released in December 2022), sequel to the 2009 movie Avatar, and what the word “Avatar” means (thank you, Wikipedia!). We’re trying to reassess and re-evaluate the bussin things we want more of in our lives; we don’t want to be caught sleeping on the things that light us up, and we don’t want to be pick-me girls!
 
We didn’t have a BBC for this week, but learning some teen lingo left us shook and Avatar was finee. If you’re vibin, please leave us a rating and review, and visit our finsta @thebettyspodcast. And not to flex, but we’re also on Facebook as The Bettys Podcast, and on Twitter @bettys_podcast. So spill the tea on how your NYE went, or feel free to send us a msg at thebettyspodcast@gmail.com
 
So be the main character in your own story (like sexy Jake Sully), do a vibe check on your New Year’s resolutions, and make sure there’s a lot of clapback at your own dance party. And remember–WE LOVE YOU MORE!

021 - Lessons in Chemistry

This week we are delving into a little bit of science. And fiction. Not science fiction, but into Chemistry, which both Mary and Alexis both appreciate. (Yes, we enjoy balancing equations. Yes, we know that makes us weird.) After talking about 2022 as a dark year of femininity (Lexy references a podcast called “Stand, Speak, Shine” with Cherie Burton), we discuss some books we didn’t love. Mary eventually gets around to talking about a great novel she read with her book club called “Lessons in Chemistry” by Bonnie Garmus (named Barnes & Noble’s book of the year for 2022.
 
We talk about bonds and attachments, Noble gases, compound molecules and how to find stability. Mostly we relate that to our lives these days, but we do express our love for the Periodic Table of the Elements and our high school chemistry teachers, Mr. Huie and Mr. Green.  
 
We also talk about the states of matter (solids, liquids, and gasses) and how much space we take up. Lexy said, “I think sometimes we need to allow ourselves to fill up a space and fill up a room in the way that we were meant to shine.” As Carl Sagan once said, “The cosmos is within us. We are made of star stuff.” So we should literally take up as much space as we need, find what lights us up, and SHINE.
Our Better Betty Challenge for this figure out what are three of the elements that light you up. Science? Pop-culture? Jesus? Music? Romance? Tell us in the comments of our posts on Instagram @thebettyspodcast. Tell us how you feel about Chemistry, and let us know if you’ve read the book! You can also find us on Facebook as The Bettys Podcast, and on Twitter @bettys_podcast, so shoot us a DM, or feel free to send us an email at thebettyspodcast@gmail.com
 
If this show resonates with you, please make sure to like, follow, share, subscribe, and give us a rating on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
 
Please support our sponsor, Get It Done services
 
Thank you for listening, Bettys and Jacks. Please take some of the wonder of the universe into your new year. And remember that we love you more.
 
P.S. Thanks for the Elvis shirt . . .

020 - Year-in-Review 2022 (Part 2)

Welcome back for part 2 of our Year-in-Review! In this episode, Mary & Alexis explore questions 21-40 of the questionnaire (you can find these here). We talk about friendships, service, television and movies, and lots of other things. Mary has to do a mea culpa, and admit she likes Hallmark movies along with her period dramas. Lexy prefers docu-series and Bullet Train, but we can both agree that we love Adam Lambert (watch the documentary on Netflix here).
 
We talk about celebrities and singers we are crushing on (LIZZO. CAN. GET. IT.), what political issues stirred us, what we wanted and got or wanted and did not get, and we give some recommendations on what to see (like Everything Everywhere All At Once) and what NOT to see (don’t watch Annette . . . if you do, don’t say we didn’t warn you!).
 
We also talk about who we missed, what things were meaningful to us, and where we hope to be next year. If you would like to fill out your own year-in-review, and you’d like to use our questionnaire, here’s a link to a Google Doc, and we’ll post it on our socials. Please share with us on Instagram @thebettyspodcast the answers to some of your favorite questions to tell us a bit of how your year went, and what you are looking forward to in 2023. You can find us on Facebook as The Bettys Podcast, on Twitter @bettys_podcast, or feel free to send us an email at thebettyspodcast@gmail.com
 
If this show resonates with you, please make sure to like, follow, share, subscribe, and give us a rating on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
 
Please support our sponsor, Get It Done services
 
Thanks for listening, friends!! This year has NOT been comfortable, but it has been so good, and we’re so grateful that you are growing along with us. Wishing you all the abundance and light for the coming year, and hoping you remember that we love you more.