Midlife Cry, Sis (Formerly known as The Bettys Podcast)

059 - Becoming a Happier Version of You: Interview with Melanny Osborn

Hello there, Bettys and Jacks! Today we have a fascinating interview with our friend Melanny (who was driving, so the sound quality is not always the greatest). It’s also a rather niche conversation about Melanny’s faith journey, which led her away from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (also known as Mormonism). There is some discussion about church history, including healing canes (listen to more information on that here) and Heavenly Mother (see the Gospel Topics essay here). We are looking forward to the publishing of her novel!
 
In addition to her faith journey, Melanny tells us some of her personal story, including that of her education, her divorce, and her second marriage. She talks quite a bit about Tarot, and how the creation of some Tarot decks of her own helped her get through some difficult times in her life. You can see her Past Lives Tarot deck here, and everything Red Orchid here. 
 
We asked Melanny to give us three things that have helped her to transition into a happier, healthier version of herself. They are:
Tarot, which has been a useful tool to help her reflect and process
Shifting her mindset from dwelling on negative things to what she can change; focusing on what she believes, not just what she doesn’t like 
Having a sense of identity, mission and purpose outside of the church
 
Melanny’s Better Betty Challenge for us today is to write down who you are (and not just in terms of your relationships to others). Watch for what is externally informed, and eliminate everything except the self. Take note of what your true self has to say.
 
Please get in touch! Send us an email at thebettyspodcast@gmail.com, and please follow us on Instagram @thebettyspodcast, on Facebook as The Bettys Podcast, on TikTok as TheBettysPodcast and on Twitter @bettys_podcast. 
 
We want to hear from you! Your comments and messages really help us know what you want to hear and how we can improve. If this show resonates with you, please make sure to share & subscribe, and give us a rating & review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
 
Please support our sponsor, Get It Done services.
 
We hope you find some new insights while listening to Melanny’s inspirational story. There are a lot of gems, and we are so grateful that she shared some of her wisdom with us. Thank you for your time and attention, friends. And remember–we love you more.

058 - Betty Byte - Fishing in the Dark, and Other Embarassing Stories

It’s our second Betty Byte! Thanks for joining us for this little girlfriend chat. We talk about being the Mom Uber Service, lizards, organized chaos, and Mary’s Father’s Day win.
 
Lex talks about one of her most embarrassing moments during a date auction, and Mary relates one of hers that happened during a snow-shoeing incident. But neither of those compare to Zeke’s issue at a church camp . . .
 
Please get in touch! Send us an email at thebettyspodcast@gmail.com, and please follow us on Instagram @thebettyspodcast, on Facebook as The Bettys Podcast, on TikTok as TheBettysPodcast and on Twitter @bettys_podcast.
 
We hope you like this short episode! Please let us know if we should make more of these BBs. You’re fabulous, friends. And remember that we love you more.

057 - 5 Ways to Plan Your Own Comeback (Tina Turner)

 
Greetings, Bettys and Jacks! Today we are talking about the one and only Miss Tina Turner, who passed away recently at the age of 83. Even Mama Ximena knew that everybody has problems and nobody is living a wonderful life. It’s easy to look at Tina’s successful solo career and think that she had it easy, but she definitely overcame a lot of obstacles.
 
Mary goes over Tina’s history, and how after being abandoned by her parents, Anna Mae Bullock left her tiny hometown and met Ike Turner, becoming the lead singer of the “Ike and Tina Turner Revue.” We also talk about some of the people who helped her on her way out of her abusive relationship with Ike, including Phil Spector, the Rolling Stones, and David Bowie. We also talk about her incredible comeback at the age of 44 with her album “Private Dancer” and especially the iconic video for “What’s Love Got to Do With It.” 
 
We encourage you to watch the Tina documentary on HBO (stream here) and read any or all of Tina’s memoirs: I, Tina, My Love Story, and Happiness Becomes You. We also hope you’ll see the musical Tina if at all possible. Listen to Tina’s interview with Oprah here. 
 
Our Better Betty Challenge for this week is to plan your own comeback. Believe in yourself and in your dreams. Look at what’s keeping you down and holding you back. Remember–the best is yet to come.
 
Please get in touch! Send us an email at thebettyspodcast@gmail.com, and please follow us on Instagram @thebettyspodcast, on Facebook as The Bettys Podcast, on TikTok as TheBettysPodcast and on Twitter @bettys_podcast. 
 
We want to hear from you! Your comments and messages really help us know what you want to hear and how we can improve. If this show resonates with you, please make sure to share & subscribe, and give us a rating & review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
 
Please support our sponsor, Get It Done services.
 
Thank you for listening, Bettys and Jacks. We hope you all know how grateful we are for you. You are simply the best, and we love you more. 
 

056 - Betty Byte: Stories in a Cemetery

Welcome to the first Betty Byte! We’re trying out a little different format for this episode: it’s basically Mary and Lexy recording themselves on a phone, so the sound quality isn’t great. Also, we’re sitting in a car with the windows down on a lovely spring evening, so there is some ambient noise, like wind and motorcycles (and possibly ghosts).
 
Lexy talks about the Weeping Widow in the Logan City Cemetery, and it’s not just her “making something up out of my butt.” Alexis is a big fan of Halloween and being scared, so we talk a little about holidays and spook alleys. Lexy shares an unforgettable story about her hair toner, and Mary talks a bit about being quarantined in Cancún due to a positive COVID test. 
 
Our Better Betty Challenge for today is to do something fun. Maybe it’s sitting in a graveyard and talking to a friend. Or going to Mexico. Either way, let us know what you’re up to! Your comments and messages really help us know what you want to hear and how we can improve. If this show resonates with you, please make sure to share & subscribe, and give us a rating & review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
 
Please get in touch! Send us an email at thebettyspodcast@gmail.com, and please follow us on Instagram @thebettyspodcast, on Facebook as The Bettys Podcast, on TikTok as TheBettysPodcast and on Twitter @bettys_podcast.
 
We hope you like this short episode! Please let us know if we should make more of these BBs. You’re fabulous, friends. And remember that we love you more.

055 -Expanding Your Talents with Dr. Jane Fjeldsted

We have a treat for you today, friends. Our special guest for this episode is Dr. Jane Fjeldsted, who is currently director of choirs at Westminster College (University) in Salt Lake City. She directs numerous other choirs, and contracts professionally as a singer and conductor for films, video games, operas, concerts, and many other projects. Mary has been singing in her community choir, the Salt Lake Singers for several years, and we feel very lucky to have been able to speak to her.
 
Jane tells us a bit about her life, her “inauspicious start” at BYU, her time with the Tabernacle Choir at Temple Square, some great advice from Walter Whipple, and her wonderful relationship with her father, Dr. Donald Ripplinger.
 
Jane has had opportunities to sing and impact people all over the world: from her participation in international choir tours with various choirs, some being broadcast to millions of viewers and listeners. To her, it’s more than just the music; she says, “This is my way of expressing my faith,” and that her goal is “to serve God’s children in a way that will enrich their lives.”
 
Jane mentions a course she has taken several times, called Brain by Design, by James Garrett, and a book A Philosophy of Music Education by Bennett Reimer. She also calls herself a “portfolio professional,” who created opportunities for herself which have included creating and directing choirs to perform with The Eagles and with Andrea Bocelli. 
 
Jane’s Better Betty Challenge for us this week is to consider what we teach, and how we help God’s children become what they are intended to be. (Listen to Natalie Sleeth’s “How Will They Know” here, and another favorite, “I’ll Go Where You Want Me To Go” here)
 
Please get in touch! Send us an email at thebettyspodcast@gmail.com, and please follow us on Instagram @thebettyspodcast, on Facebook as The Bettys Podcast, on TikTok as TheBettysPodcast and on Twitter @bettys_podcast. 
 
We want to hear from you! Your comments and messages really help us know what you want to hear and how we can improve. If this show resonates with you, please make sure to share & subscribe, and give us a rating & review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
 
Please support our sponsor, Get It Done services.
 
Thank you for listening, Bettys and Jacks. We feel so blessed to be able to share the light and wisdom of this beautiful human, and we hope you can feel her incredible spirit and love. In her words: “I believe more in people than they believe in themselves.” You contribute so much to our ensemble, and like Jane, we are grateful for your countenance and energy. You are wonderful, and we love you more.

054 - Are You Out of Alignment? 5 Ways to Align With Our Higher Selves

Happy Monday, Bettys and Jacks! We hope you want to listen to Mary and Alexis talk about random music, naming children, and pets. Lots of pets, including therapy dogs, and Lexy’s cat named Mary. Apparently she was a slut and had lots of kittens. Just remember–don’t mess with Vicky.
 
Mary refers to Firefly Lane, a Netflix series based on the book of the same name by Kristin Hannah. She also talks about alignment in cars, and how sometimes our vehicles need more than just an alignment or a tire rotation–maybe it’s a whole CV axle, like Mary’s car needed recently. She also talks about visual alignment, and how her friend Kailee needed vision therapy after having a concussion to help her eyes work together better. Another example of alignment is how people work together in teams: Mary speaks mostly of her team in the Operating Room environment, how multiple people are needed to work together, and although their roles are different, their goals are the same.
 
Mary also talks about an article on Brooke Snow’s website, with quotes from Richard Schwartz and his book, No Bad Parts. There’s also some discussion about the Natural Man (or our physical selves) and the Saint (our higher, or spiritual selves), and how both of them rely upon each other, and work much better when they are in alignment.
 
We offer some tips on how to align our regular selves with our higher selves:
Love and accept ALL the parts. Even the ugly ones.
Ask what part is wounded and needs healing
Recognize the beauty in the chaos. Living in the world means NOT being all one or the other; both body and spirit are needed for a fullness of joy. They are friends.
Seek frequent spiritual alignments. Get into nature. Go to the temple. Take a bubble bath. Do those things that fill your soul.
Make those frequent micro-adjustments (a.k.a., milli-things). Know where you are going, and don’t allow a misstep, harsh word or criticism to derail your whole journey.
 
Our Better Betty Challenge for this week is to look at one area of your life where you might be out of alignment with your higher self (marriage, health, finances, etc.). Ask yourself what you need in order to become more aligned with your ultimate goals. Maybe make some micro-adjustments, put some air in your tires, or even seek help from a professional so you can get on with your life (“Time is money, baby!”).
 
Please get in touch! Send us an email at thebettyspodcast@gmail.com, and please follow us on Instagram @thebettyspodcast, on Facebook as The Bettys Podcast, on TikTok as TheBettysPodcast and on Twitter @bettys_podcast. 
 
We want to hear from you! Your comments and messages really help us know what you want to hear and how we can improve. If this show resonates with you, please make sure to share & subscribe, and give us a rating & review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
 
Please support our sponsor, Get It Done services.
 
Thank you for listening, Bettys and Jacks. We may not be your favorite gurus, and we may spend waaaay too long talking about cats and Netflix shows and surgery, but we are so grateful that you’re here. You’re wonderful, and please remember that there are no bad parts, and that we love you more.
 

053 - Subjective and Objective Perceptions: What is Real?

Oh my heck, Betty! Don’t sing Katy Perry in an inappropriate register! And don’t get hit on when you go to karaoke in a bar! This episode is a little woo-woo, and all over the place, but we hope it will get you thinking outside of your box.
 
Alexis and Mary talk about objective and subjective reality. One is unbiased, facts-only, and the other is all personal–seen only through your particular lens. Lexy refers to The Infinite Spark of Being Podcast (listen to Episode 7 here). We learn that the ego wants to drive subjective perceptions into an objective reality, and that it is our job to fearlessly challenge our beliefs–to keep fine-tuning them. Mental gymnastics can sometimes be required if we want to believe something. But if we want to make solid decisions, we need to see both sides.
 
Mary refers to an article in the New York Times by Dr Orna Guralnik, a Clinical Psychologist (read it here). She writes: “Love is ultimately measured by people’s capacity to see and care about the other person as they are; succeeding in this effort is how people in relationships grow.”
 
We also mention the 2017 movie Ferdinand, the criminally-underrated Disney animated film The Emperor’s New Groove (Kronk is the best! Stream it here on Disney+), the 1997 Julia Roberts classic My Best Friend’s Wedding, and even Billy Joel. Here’s a lyric video for “You May Be Right,” and although Mary mixed up her Billy Joel songs, here’s a link to “My Life” on Spotify.  
 
Lexy also talks about Don Quixote de la Mancha, the (1605!) novel by Miguel de Cervantes, and give some great quotes from the book, like “Hunger is the best sauce in the world.” and “Destiny guides our fortunes more favorably than we could have expected.”
 
Our Better Betty Challenge for this week is to recognize and lean into your own subjective perception about love: what leads you to feeling more and giving more love. 
 
Please get in touch! Send us an email at thebettyspodcast@gmail.com, and please follow us on Instagram @thebettyspodcast, on Facebook as The Bettys Podcast, on TikTok as TheBettysPodcast and on Twitter @bettys_podcast. 
 
We want to hear from you! Your comments and messages really help us know what you want to hear and how we can improve. If this show resonates with you, please make sure to share & subscribe, and give us a rating & review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
 
Please support our sponsor, Get It Done services.
 
We hope you’ll recognize that almost everything we see and feel and say and hear is subjective. Thanks for subjecting yourselves to our perceptions, and for being incredible human beings. You’re amazing, Bettys and Jacks. And remember–we love you more.
 

052 - How to Not Take Everything So Seriously (Sixteen Candles)

CW: Mild swearing and some discussion of suicide
 
“What’s happening, Hot Stuff?!” We hope you are doing well on this fine Monday morning, and that this episode can help you to not take things so seriously. Mama Ximena definitely believes in karma, so be wise about what you say and do (like don’t play in wheelchairs!), but remember that there is life beyond whatever disappointments we have today. And freeway dance parties are always in season.
 
Alexis and Mary talk a little about the 1984 John Hughes movie “Sixteen Candles” (rated PG, available to stream here on Hulu). The movie takes place over the course of two days, and the main character, Sam (played by Molly Ringwald) is having a really bad day on the first day, because it’s her 16th birthday, and her family has forgotten it. She takes almost everything that day too seriously, but the next day, which is her sister’s wedding day, things get a lot better. A lot of interesting–and problematic–things happen in this movie, but it all works out in the end, especially when Sam is able to lighten up a bit.
 
Lexy found several great quotes about not taking life so seriously, and both Mary and Lexy give some examples of cringey things that have happened to each of us. We hope our embarrassment will make you laugh a little bit. Lex refers to this article by Peter Sheahan on fearlessculture.design (here’s another great article on the subject). Sheahan gives some great points that we talk about:
Confront the fear of being ridiculed
Drop the ball on purpose
Change the tone, change the conversation
(Ask yourself) What’s the worst thing that could happen? (here’s a clip from This is Us)
Become shame-resilient
Add more humor to your life
Let go of your reputation. Sheahan says, “Don’t take others too seriously, either. Free yourself from the Measurement World. Be okay being vulnerable. Take life seriously, not yourself.”
One great quote Lexy found is from Og Mandino, who said: “Laugh at yourself and at life. Not in the spirit of derision or whining self-pity, but as a remedy, a miracle drug, that will ease your pain, cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective that seemingly terrible defeat... Never take yourself too seriously.”
 
This quote reminded Mary of one of her favorite U2 songs, “Miracle Drug” (watch the lyric video here).
 
Our Better Betty Challenge for this week is to find something to laugh about everyday. And if you’re laughing about “Jack Juice,” you’re not the only one (be like Jake Ryan, guys). After all, we don’t want our Jacks to be dull boys.
 
Please get in touch! Send us an email at thebettyspodcast@gmail.com, and please follow us on Instagram @thebettyspodcast, on Facebook as The Bettys Podcast, on TikTok as TheBettysPodcast and on Twitter @bettys_podcast. 
 
We want to hear from you! Your comments and messages really help us know what you want to hear and how we can improve. If this show resonates with you, please make sure to share & subscribe, and give us a rating & review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
 
Please support our sponsor, Get It Done services.
 
Thank you for listening, Bettys and Jacks. Don’t miss all of the good stuff in life by taking everything so seriously. Remember to zoom out and don’t let the hard things define you. And always remember that we love you more.
 

051 - Queen Charlotte

Hey, Bettys and Jacks! We love it when the girls come out to play! Laughing is good, especially when it comes to Mama Ximena’s Words of Wisdom (“Turn on your lambada and clean your house!”). We talk about dancing, including Lexy’s breakdancing and Mary’s college ballroom dancing classes. And, because we always have to point out our segues, the dancing in  Bridgerton; specifically Queen Charlotte–A Bridgerton Story (now streaming on Netflix). We’re also manifesting a Queen’s Ball Experience in SLC!
 
Mary talks a little bit about the series (it’s historical fiction), for way too long about the story and characters (the writing and acting are excellent), and about some of the issues the story tackles–like racism and integration of the royal society, the lives and needs of women (some gardens need more tending than others!), self-discovery, and mental health–especially that of King George III. 
 
There’s a very cool interview with some of the cast and crew of Queen Charlotte here on YouTube. It gives you a lot of insight into the making of this television series.
 
Remember–”it’s no secret that a friend is someone who lets you help.”
 
Our Better Betty Challenge for this week is to look between the lines–think about something you are doing (or not doing) that isn’t sitting well with you. Ask yourself what is YOUR truth, and what do YOU really want from your life. And ask yourself what steps you can do to actually move forward in the direction of your dreams.
 
Please get in touch! Send us an email at thebettyspodcast@gmail.com, and please follow us on Instagram @thebettyspodcast, on Facebook as The Bettys Podcast, on TikTok as TheBettysPodcast and on Twitter @bettys_podcast. 
 
We want to hear from you! Your comments and messages really help us know what you want to hear and how we can improve. If this show resonates with you, please make sure to share & subscribe, and give us a rating & review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
 
Please support our sponsor, Get It Done services.
 
Thank you for listening, gentle listeners. We hope your own journey of self-discovery and your slow-down moments can bring some light into your lives.  We’re truly grateful for you. And we love you more.
 

050 - Altered States, Ego Death, and Kim

CW: There is some talk of drug usage in this episode.
 
Today’s episode of the Bettys Podcast is a little all-over-the-place (shocking, we know). We had to restart this episode due to some technical difficulties, so we tried to recap Mary’s entertaining experience taking a caffeine pill. Both Alexis and Mary are a little delirious, and in need of a good laugh, so much of that comes in the form of talking about ‘altered states.’ And Bridgerton. And how Bridgerton apparently puts Mary into an altered state. 
What does it mean to you when we say, “Kim’s gonna Kim?” We believe that when people show you who they are, you should believe them. And when you know a person for a long time, you generally know what they are going to do. Lex is gonna Lex, and that means she’s always gonna dance (and probably twerk) when she hears some Latin music. Mary’s gonna Mary, which means she’s always going to have a song (like Good Intentions by Toad The Wet Sprocket) or a movie quote for any situation (like Mulan). Mary also highly recommends The Diplomat on Netflix, starring the incredible Keri Russell.
 
Mary then talks about an article she found on lonerwolf.com. The seven stages of Ego Death, according to author Aletheia Luna are as follows:
Stage 1 — Spiritual Awakening, many times brought on by an existential crisis
Stage 2 — The Dark Night of the Soul, or the “culmination of our suffering”
Stage 3 — The Spiritual Seeker, where we experiment with various spiritual practices, to determine what will relieve suffering
Stage 4 — Satori, which is continued spiritual development or “momentary enlightenment”
Stage 5 — Spiritual Discernment, including more maturity and self-discipline
Stage 6 — Dissolution and Deconstruction, where we begin to surrender all that we are not. Deconstruction may or may not involve religion, but here we speak about it as trying to uncover our true selves
Stage 7 — The End of the Search, oneness and enlightenment. This is a very difficult place to get to, and requires a lot of dedication to the work of overcoming ego. 
Lexy talks about one of her favorite books, You Are Special by Max Lucado (you can buy it here on Amazon or watch a lovely short video version of the book being read aloud here on YouTube). Mary also mentions Susan Cain, who said the following in a newsletter from May 2023: 
“If the task of the first half of life is to put yourself out there, the task of the second half is to make sense of where you’ve been (and where you might be going next).”
 
Our Better Betty Challenge for this week is to reach out to someone who is struggling. Maybe it’s an unobtrusive I’m thinking about you text, or maybe it’s another way. Maybe it’s yourself; but it’s always good to remember that you are cared for, and you are special, and that you can get through this–even if you are currently in the dark night of your soul.
 
Please get in touch! Send us an email at thebettyspodcast@gmail.com, and please follow us on Instagram @thebettyspodcast, on Facebook as The Bettys Podcast, on TikTok as TheBettysPodcast and on Twitter @bettys_podcast. 
 
We want to hear from you! Your comments and messages really help us know what you want to hear and how we can improve. If this show resonates with you, please make sure to share & subscribe, and give us a rating & review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
 
Please support our sponsor, Get It Done services.
 
Thank you for listening, our dear Bettys and Jacks. We hope our little podcast can be a light in your dark places, and that you can remember how precious and loved and needed you are.  We’re so grateful for you. And we love you more.